COMPLIMENTS!

It costs you nothing, a good one can be remembered forever and people would love to get more.

Yet, we struggle with this…

to give them but also sometimes to receive them.

are you good at giving compliments?

Do you feel comfortable receiving them?

I grew up in a place where compliments are more common.

che bella giacca. you cut your hair, it suits you. you cooked this? che buono.

Italy.

Then I spent years in other countries, and I watched people treat a kind word like it cost money.

they'd think something nice and you could see them decide not to spend it.

this week, I went looking for why. and the answer surprised me:

It is a wrong psychological bias!

researchers tested this directly.

people gave compliments, and everyone reported how it actually felt.

The compliment givers got it wrong the same way every time.

they underestimated how good the other person felt.

they overestimated how uncomfortable the whole thing would be.

(Boothby and Bohns: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167220949003)

so the thing that stops you from making others happy and creating better connections is bad prediction.

you imagine the cringe, not the smile, and the imagined cringe feels like information.

it isn't.

and the good news is you can put the fear down at any time, for free, starting with the next person who walks into your day.

Kindness isn't expensive.

so for this week's challenge, I will practice and give 50 genuine compliments.

I challenge YOU to give 7 genuine compliments! :)

short video update: I proposed the Compliment Corner event. It was so nice!

If you missed the previous weeks and lessons, check them out HERE:

Share with friends who want to make their lives more beautiful.

- Alex